Jehovah Rapha

I would like to share how utterly grateful I am to God. It’s true that no words can ever express how His great and amazing love is for us that He not only takes away sins and pains and diseases, but even doubts. I’d like to start of with sharing the background story so I hope you’ll bear with me because this testimony will be a bit lengthy.

I was diagnosed having TMJ disorder early 2009. What it is, to explain briefly, is that the positioning of my lower jaw or mandible is incorrect because of my crooked teeth I had before getting my braces (part of the treatment) and, of course, stress. Thank God that mine’s mild because in much severe cases, TMJ disorder can cause facial distortion, hearing loss, jaw dislocation, painful locking of jaw, neck and shoulder pain, and migraine. So to make everything short I got it treated by a very fantastic dentist and a very good TMJ specialist, Dr. Maria Corazon M. Abing (she’s the only one who got the diagnosis with just looking at my panoramic x-ray which the other two dentists I had, prior that, didn’t),

However, after having the treatment for about 2 years now, I get this lock-jaws in the mornings when waking up (it’s very awful). It has happened to me twice or thrice this year now. When having consulted my dentist, she said that the cause might be unrelaxed jaw and stuff (after wearing a splint for half a year or 9 months, I really can’t remember how long it was, the clicking and pains were gone) and I thought that it made sense ’cause my sleeping habit’s really bad recently since I sleep so much later than I should. Also my sleeping position is somehow incorrect for someone who has the disorder, she told me I should sleep with my head elevated from my body. So I did that.

But this latest incidence, which occurred Sunday morning until yesterday, was much more severe than the former, I thought it would go away, just like how the former did, after a day of doing what I normally do with occasional massages and whispers of prayers.

 

Real Love

I got this very beautiful story from Ptr. Jerry Balbuena’s note on facebook. I hope this inspire you, as it did to me, to appreciate more of how indescribably God’s love is for us and desire to have the same in ourselves.

A man’s wife called him, “How long will you be poring over that newspaper? Will you come here and make your darling daughter eat her food?”, he tossed the paper away and rushed to the scene.

His only daughter Sindu, looked frightened, tears were welling up in her eyes, in front of her was a bowl filled to its brim with Curd Rice.

Sindu is a nice child, quite intelligent for her age, she has just turned eight, she particularly detested Curd Rice. His mother and his wife are orthodox and believe firmly in the ‘cooling effects’ of Curd Rice! He cleared his throat, and picked up the bowl.“Sindu, darling, why don’t you take a few mouthfuls of this Curd Rice?

Just for Dad’s sake, dear? And, if you don’t, your Mom will shout at me.”He could sense his wife’s scowl behind his back. Sindu softened a bit, and wiped her tears with the back of her hands.

“OK, Dad. I will eat – not just a few mouthfuls, but the whole lot of this. But, you should…” Sindu hesitated, “Dad, if I eat this entire curd Rice, will you give me whatever I ask for?”

“Oh sure, darling’.“Promise?”

“Promise.”

He covered the pink soft hand extended by his daughter with mine and clinched the deal.

“Ask Mom also to give a similar promise”, his daughter insisted, his wife slapped her hand on Sindu’s, muttering, “Promise”, without any emotion.

 

MeQuoteDieciNueve

“Each time I see any of her pictures, I am reminded of my place in his heart –which is kind of sucky. And to have this moment really is terrible, because that first sentence isn’t even sounding so right, right? My mind’s complicated.”

-__-

Buenavie.01.29.2012

 

Anarchy Inside

How is it that I thought I was just doing fine thinking I have full control of myself and that I am completely uncompromising in a relationship’s status quo? But as it turned out, my emotions betrayed me.

I feel stupid about it. I feel very stupid that yet again I got tricked by myself, I failed to do what I must have done from the very beginning –to guard my heart. I thought wrong and right now it feels extremely awful.

I’m crying like I just got brokenhearted when in fact I shouldn’t be. I thought sleep would take it away and even prayer, but it’s already 02:30 in the morning and I cry ’til now because it hurts a lot.

I feel the urge to be angry and blame the person and even God, but I can’t, I just can’t, ’cause I know I had the big part to be blamed for.

I know the very thing to do in this very situation: to reevaluate, refocus, re-fix my eyes on Jesus Christ, learn and be wiser than ever before –but why is it that they’re empty words before me as I speak them to myself?

It’s like there’s a war inside me, “I should be like this, but I can’t”, extremely complicated. Still, dashes of hoping stands out, even if my mind and my heart are in a rage of difficulty, I still want to stand in faith and hope more of God’s promises. It feels like it doesn’t matter that chunks of doubt is pouring all over me, and that I feel extremely the opposite of “hoping”.

 

Saturday Ride

It was a great time, even though short, to see Ate Mhean and Kuya Ronald’s family again after so long. I didn’t even notice that it’s been almost 10 months since they have relocated away from Navotas. I missed their little witty cute girl, Riesse, so much. It surprised me how big she is now and how adorably garrulous she has become. And of course, it was a thrill to see their new born baby, Elianah, who looks a lot like her mom, for me.

I MISS YOU ALL RAMOS FAMILY!! A LOT!!

Riesse and me

Ate Riesse and baby Elianah

The ride to and fro the hospital was quite endearing for me, I don’t know why but it felt unbelievably liberating to roam places with just by yourself, see people of different walks of life busy with whatever they’re on, and just ponder on the various scenes you witness; it didn’t even matter that halfway was a frenzied market place.

Shot from LRT station.

 

God’s True Blessing

I’ve finished Philip Yancey’s “What’s So Amazing About Grace?” and now I’ve moved on to a free read, and I’m finding it quite really awesome and very much interesting, titled: “Harvesting in Famine: Victorious Living in Times of Crises” written by Ptr. Willy W. Chua.

I have heard him preach twice, the latest is after attending an amazing and a blessed camp in Bulacan just before the end of last year, I should say that he’s unlike the common pastors I hear in churches who preach for an hour or so. He preaches uniquely and more than the time, I believe, most are used to, and quite surprisingly, those 2 sermons I’ve listened to were very spiritually enriching.

I’d like to make this post so to share how God has blessed me and my friends during the camp and the book he gave us; we are so blessed by him and his family’s testimony of how passionate they are of Christ (More than 6 or so hours of family devotion! And some other more surprising stuff that happened to them, at school, random events, etc.), all by God’s grace and for His glory alone.

I am to read chapter 4 upon resume but I was caught early by some big points the former chapters before it contain. To talk about one big hit, for me, would be chapter 2 wherein he wrote about “Understanding The Blessing”. Summarizing, he wrote the true definition of God’s blessing and it can be found in 2 Bible verses:

“The blessing of the Lord BRINGS WEALTH and he ADDS NO TROUBLE to it.” -Prov. 10:22

“Surely goodness and love will FOLLOW ME all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” -Ps. 23:6

The first point, according to proverbs, is that if the blessing is true and it is from God, it must be perfect in a sense that it bears no burden with it, it is “unattached, griefless, trouble-free, sorrow-free” as how Ptr. Chua elaborated it. Furthermore, it is “not promotion without commotion, prosperity without longevity, wealth without health, recognition with no restoration”. Thus, if a “blessing” has otherwise –it makes you worry, it makes you sad or angry, it doesn’t give you any comfort nor peace– then it is NOT from God, and it is not a TRUE blessing.

The second point is that The Blessing is not to be chased after. It is not to be pursued. Ptr. Chua wrote:

The Presence of God attracts the blessings, but it is obedience to His Word that brings The Presence of God (The Blessing) to the scene.

Such statement came from two verses, one is the latter verse I stated above, from Psalms, and the other is from Matthew 6:33 (“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”). To simply put, people, Christians all the more, should learn to fix our eyes on our Rewarder than the rewards.

There’s this one truth I experienced today and I thank God so much for letting me have it because I received The Blessing: A communion with God a day makes all the difference in the world.

I received genuine optimism and joy, enthusiasm and love for people, a submissive heart and a fresh faith, all in a day. And I am so praying I’d be able to pull myself nearer and nearer and nearer before His feet by His grace tomorrow, the day after tomorrow and all the days that comes after it because true enough, it’s everything a person ever needs to live a day perfectly: a quality time with my Creator, my Savior, my Redeemer, my Lover, my Counselor, my Teacher, my Friend, my Father. If you make God your priority, He will make sure you have always been His priority.

By the way, I don’t know if Ptr. Chua’s book is out in bookstores but if it is, it would be a blessing to buy a copy.

God’s awesome!

 

A Brief 2011 Revisiting

At the very start of the year, my mind was filled of thoughts about witnessing numerous young people come and join NAG’s youth ministry. But everything was changed as 2011′s end approached, He dealt from the core, from the inside, and eventually, out. I am now convinced, maybe not during my term, maybe on the coming batches of young leaders, God will make it happen in an unimaginable amazing way with a much better perspective and deeper purpose. For now, all that there is, is to learn the basics and, yet, the most important of all: to seek Him above all, to trust in Him fully and not lean on our own understanding, to be still and know that He is God.

Sabi nga it’s not about the number, it’s about the heart, and truly, God broke and made new the youth ministry’s heart. Still a very long road to walk on, but I am thankful, in my unexpectedly almost 6 years sa YM’s leadership, I have experienced a LOT of bittersweet moments and all of them are too wonderful because God let them be so.

2011 has been a great experience for me as a leader, as a youth, as a Christian, and most of all, as a person. The events that God let me get through this year changed me, still is, and I am more amazed witnessing other young peoples’ lives get changed from glory to glory.

I encourage every young people who knows Jesus Christ to never give up seeking Him despite the odds you face every day. It is never an easy thing to be His follower but it’s always the most wonderful life anybody chooses to live as. There might always be a lot of trials along the road but know that He who holds the world carries us throughout the journey.

More than too often, people plot plans in their minds for a definite stretch of time, but no matter how meticulously premeditated it is, God’s plan prevails.

I greet you all a very merry Christmas and a blessed new year!

 

A Quick “Q”

“Do you know how it feels when you’re all vacant, you’re doing stuff but you’re absolutely unoccupied mentally and all that passes through your consciousness are thoughts about the person you like? If you do, what do you do about it then?”

This is very unhealthy for me, I need to get my mind off those thoughts and get a life today. Seriously. lols X)

 

Holidays and Me

Just a quick post to catch up:

3 days to go and it’s Christmas here in the Philippines! It feels like 2011 just started last week because I still remember memorable events last January. So…

• I just had my official vacation last week and it’s quite fantastic, it’s been long since I have gone to my grandparents’ place in the province with my family. It’s the usual place but there’s really nothing like family, we had so much fun –usual food and stuff, though, every time it’s always so refreshing.
• Since the 40 days Prayer and Fasting ended on the 16th of this month I guess my appetite isn’t as big as before and I am absolutely happy about it of course. (I’ve waited for it so long. XD)
• Even though it’s Christmas vacation, me and my thesis group mates have to rush since by the weekend of the first week of January 2012 we have to undertake our pre-oral defense, wherein we have to present our chapters 1 to 3 to a set of panel, so there’s pressure and stress even on vacation. Anyhow, it’s better this way since, hopefully, this is our last semester then it’ll be graduation! XD Sweet!
• I’m sort of a loafer this week, although I was productive all morning today doing chores -organizing stuff, decorating our house for the holidays, cleaning up mess. I have really got nothing on my hands to do right now aside from surfing the net non-stop, watching movies and series, tuning in to TV shows, eating, blogging, pondering about both the nonsense and otherwise and some other lazy stuff people do when bored. XD Actually, I can call myself doing something when I get off the house to malls or some other place.
• Last but not the least, I am so looking forward to the holidays! Aside from the fact that my birthday’s on it, I will technically be a year older in 5 days! So yeah, that’s kinda included on the former. Anyways, it’ll be like: Christmas -> Birthday -> New Year. I’ve got some cash and other activities on the line, I really hope this short vacation would be fun as how I think it’ll be.
• This post seems like a rubbish time killer. *laughs* I’m typing anything that comes to mind. So if you’re still reading, I don’t know what to say. *humongous grin with sparkling cute eyes*

Have a very merry Christmas and may God bless us more! Happy holidays! X)

 

Eunice

I didn’t know that the pic’s really blurry, anyway, I know you can see through that. XD This is my little sissy wearing a cute black-white dress on flats. Just thought she’s really cute so I’d post it here.